So many times, my life has run head-long into a brick wall that I could not have possibly seen coming.  More times than I can recall, I have closed myself into a corner and cried until my entire body reverberated from the bowel shaking agony that poured from my heart.  I have been abused, neglected, berated, betrayed and have done the same to others with equal amounts of regret and revenge in my heart.

Each time I have laid myself bare before God demanding sympathy, requiring His understanding and compassion, I have heard one simple word… “And?”

“And, what?” I would retort.

In His infinite wisdom God would come back, “And WHAT…did you expect?”

“I expected FAVOR!  I expected GRACE!  I EXPECTED to see the hand of God move on my behalf!!!” (I got really indignant, and then…) “I would have settled for a hug.  Some sympathy.  Some COMPASSION!”

So, He says to me again, “…AND????”

Now, I’m a big, old puddle of slobbery mush.  “…And what?”

God never raises His voice. “And WHAT did you see?”

“I didn’t see what I was looking for!”

“Yeah, you did.”

I get a little sarcastic.  “REALLY?”

“Yup,” He says, all nonchalant.

“Well, where was it?”  See, by now, I am completely exhausted, bleary eyed and totally tired of myself. I just want to feel some relief and God is being FUNNY.

“I showed grace THROUGH you, when I let you walk away with your dignity even after it seemed like everyone was spitting in your face.  My hand was upon you to protect you when they thought they were going to run roughshod over you, but I said, ‘this far…no farther.’ And my favor surrounded you when I opened the eyes of all the people you thought were in the enemies’ camp and they acknowledged how poorly you were treated to the detriment of your abusers’ reputation.  AND FURTHERMORE…”

I am completely quiet now, leaning in as if on the edge of my seat. “Go on…”

I can feel Him smiling.

“Furthermore, My favor is paving the way for you to be everything that everyone said that you COULDN’T be, because you have remained faithful, just like I knew you would.”

Now, I’m smiling.

At that point, one of my sons walks into the room, pokes me on the tip of my nose and says, “What’s up, duckie!Wanna hug? C’m’ere!”

Sometimes, it’s not that God’s not there.  It’s just that our perspective is off.  God loves us. Even when we don’t feel loved. He is always with us and is always working it out for our good.

So, the next time you see the enemy really showing his shorts, just smile at him and say, “…And?”


11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ministerdebb
    May 12, 2012 @ 18:54:20

    I absolutely love this Janee!!! I can see this scene evolving into a full fledged story!



  2. Shaquita
    May 14, 2012 @ 01:04:25

    Amazing read! Love it!



  3. Sybil
    May 31, 2012 @ 16:24:28

    Ok……I get it. Why is it you can never find tissue when ya need it ?



  4. Kaleidoscope Perspectives
    Jun 06, 2012 @ 17:52:31

    Three of my favorite women have posted on this article! Ladies, we are on our way to the PROMISED LAND!!! Three debt free millionaires. Hang in there!



  5. ministerdebb
    Sep 20, 2012 @ 19:21:44

    I soooo needed to revisited this blog…thank you my Sister for posting a message that keeps on giving. God’s love, favor, blessings and grace to you for reminding me that He has not forgot!!!



  6. Kaleidoscope Perspectives
    Dec 09, 2012 @ 22:11:10

    Reblogged this on Kaleidoscope Perspectives and commented:

    Just had a feeling somebody needed to read this one again…



  7. Denisha
    Mar 08, 2013 @ 13:55:14

    This was truly enjoyable. I connected with it immediately. All I can do is shake my head, look up to the ceiling, and say “I hear you and yes I understand!”



  8. Daddy Walt
    Jun 22, 2015 @ 20:55:40

    See -Told you Sunday God would take you through it and you could do it. Love you. Daddy Walt



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