My colors are starting to show.
I went to a Masquerade Ball last night…my first big outing as a divorcée. I went, expecting to have a “plus one.” Circumstances beyond their control left me minus one. I was afraid I would mope all night, but that didn’t happen. That didn’t happen at all.
I suppose that was the advantage of having lived, simultaneously, with and without someone for so long. I have the distinct advantage of learning to carry myself as if I was unattainable, yet fully free to ‘move about the building.’ I went about the business of having a FANTASTIC time; laughing, talking, mingling, dancing and flirting…pretty much like I always do.
There are two things I know, for certain, about myself. I cannot and will not be bound by what is expected of me, in any position I maintain; I will do whatever pleases me, so long as it pleases God. I am not made to live alone.
I am a help meet. Not every woman has the ‘stones’ to say that. I know that is what I am. There is a ‘magic’ to what I can do and how I manifest God’s glory when I am properly covered. I really am every woman (not all at once, mind you…I’m not schizophrenic). It really is all in me. And one day, some lucky man will get to have it all, and we will both be forever changed by it.
But last night, I got to be free a little bit.
It was funny to see the reaction of some of my friends who had never really seen that side of me. It was nothing major, just a few looks of bemused curiosity. I didn’t give them much thought; too busy having fun. I was brave. I was funny. I was loud. I was raucous. I was sexy. I was ME.
And it was good.